Porschia: [00:00:00] Today we are talking to Heidi Blooming about knowing when to start a business. Heidi Blooming has over 10 years of experience working in the mental health space, holding various roles from field work, executive leadership, and eventually owning her own therapy practice. As a licensed independent social worker and therapist, Heidi has worked in homelessness, community building, predominantly minority spaces, and with cultural competence training.
She also has extensive experience working with professionals on relationship cultivation and increased insights and self awareness. Hi, Heidi. How are you today? Hi, Portia. I’m great. How are you? I am doing well, and I’m excited to have you with us to discuss knowing when to start a business. But first, we want to know a little more about [00:01:00] you.
So tell me about seven year old Heidi.
Heidi: Oh, seven year old Heidi was very curious. Um, and very talkative. Um, I know a lot of people probably get this, uh, thing when you’re a kid where, you know, your grades are good and your teachers have nothing but good things to say, except she talks too much. Right. I got that.
A lot. Heidi talks too much. Heidi has a lot of questions. Um, naturally that would translate so many years later to my therapy career, though I didn’t know it at the time. Um, but yes, I’ve always been curious. I’ve always been inquisitive. Um, and I’ve always found a lot of strength and purpose in being connected to people and in relationships with people.
Porschia: So, Heidi, during that early curious phase, what did you want to be when [00:02:00] you grew up?
Heidi: Well, I think I wanted to be an artist and a singer, usually at the same time.
Porschia: I love it. I love it. Well, singers are artists in a way, you know, creative artists. So I get it. I get it. So what was your first job, Heidi?
Heidi: My very first job was, well, um, I guess babysitting when I was, you know, a young teenager.
But my first, you know, kind of going to a place job was I was a hostess at a restaurant. Um, and that was, that was an interesting
Porschia: time. Yes. Yes. I think a lot of us have been hostesses and servers at restaurants. I know I definitely have. I definitely have. Um, so Heidi, tell us about some highlights or pivotal moments in your career before you started your business.
Heidi: Well, I [00:03:00] mean, there were many, um, I, I actually just got, got off a call with a colleague. We were talking about, you know, what is it like to start a private practice? Um, she’s kind of in the, in the beginning stages. And we were talking about, you know, things that made me, and, and this will kind of get to the next part about how do you know when it’s time, um, you know, working in places where there’s supposed to be a lot of support for folks who are mentally ill, working in places where, you know, The institution itself is supposed to right scaffold folks to better things in your life.
And I’ve worked for a lot of places like that. But I’ve worked in a lot of places, hospitals, institutions, community health areas, um, where, you know, I have experienced, you know, clients. Um, I have experienced Um, I have experienced, um, clients kind of showing up in crisis. Um, and I think for me being able to kind of witness those moments have both been very humbling and very [00:04:00] Giant learning experiences.
Um, I, you know, I’ve kind of worked in places where I’ve had really great supervision, I’ve had really great support. And then I’ve worked in places where it’s kind of like a cop throw gosh in the wind, you’re on your own, good luck. And, um, you sort of learn to think on your feet. And so pivotal moments or highlights of career, both highlights and lowlights highlights have been, you know, running successful events where I’ve.
been able to raise or help raise for organizations, you know, hundreds of thousands of dollars to go, you know, back into help support the families and communities that I’ve, I’ve worked to serve, um, you know, watching a client go from crisis, you know, rock bottom to thriving in their lives to, you know, earning.
Promotions at work and being able to sustain jobs and being able to sustain relationships when, you know, starting out, they never had any inkling that they could even do that. All of those things and more have been highlights. [00:05:00] And I guess I don’t know if that answers your question, but I’m happy if there’s, if there’s a more specific question around that, I’m happy to answer that
Porschia: too.
Oh, that’s great. That’s great. And I, you were Going in the direction of, I think my next question too, you know, with the highlights, there are challenges too. So what would you say was your biggest career challenge before starting your business? It’s hard to pick
Heidi: just one.
Porschia: Well, you can give us a couple. You can give us a couple.
Um,
Heidi: I mean, I think, you know, from the broader global perspective, my biggest career challenge was kind of never feeling like it was it. Like I found jobs that were good. I found organizations that were great. I found people that I worked with that I loved, but it never fully felt like, Oh, this is my thing, or this is my, you know, whatever, this is my niche.[00:06:00]
Um, there are certain populations that I’ve worked with that I’ve loved. There are certain, you know, there were, there were really great moments about that, but I never fully felt like I can make myself home here and, and really thrive in this. This is a thing that I’m doing for a time and then I will go to the next thing.
Um, and so that I think I would say that was my biggest challenge and that was the challenge within me. I don’t even think, I mean, partially, right? I think that that is a challenge of some of these institutions and, you know, some of the world that we live in. But I think for me, I never felt like I could fully do the kind of work that felt right for me in those spaces.
Porschia: Thank you for sharing that, Heidi. A lot of our clients express. Similar sentiments, right? And so I think that, um, often leads a lot of people to career coaching or, um, business coaching, starting their own business because they kind of have that, that feeling [00:07:00] that, um, there’s, there’s more to it than this, or, um, you know, they just have a desire and they, they don’t feel like it’s necessarily, um, um, Going to be attained, right?
And in whatever their current environment or situation is. Um, so how did you know when it was time to start a business for yourself?
Heidi: Great question. Um, well, a couple of things. Um, I, I had worked for a, um, a group practice and I had started to sort of feel like. For whatever reason, there, there wasn’t the autonomy that I wanted, you know, like I had a lot of it, you know, I could pick my clients, I could make my own schedule, but there was just something that wasn’t like, Oh, but I don’t have this, or I’m not able to control how much money I make, or I’m not able to control fully, you know, X, Y, and Z aspect of it, you know, I wanted to have the full control.
And I just [00:08:00] kept feeling like I don’t have that. Um, yeah. And as a person who I’m sure many of your, your clients and colleagues and maybe you can relate to, I’m a little bit of a control freak and I love control over my own life and my own money and my own time and there are so few opportunities for us to do that.
You know, just knowing that I had friends who started private practices and started businesses were sure there were challenges and you sometimes have to, you know, chase the money or you have to chase the thing it’s all controlled by you. And when I decided that, okay, I’ve had this experience, I know how to, I don’t know how to run a business, but I know how not to, um, and I got to a point where I was feeling just burnt out and I was feeling tired all the time and my physical body just was like heavy a little bit.
And, you know, a friend of mine actually encouraged me, I was sharing with her just some of my [00:09:00] frustrations in general about feeling like I didn’t have control and she just looked at me and was like, why wouldn’t you do this? Like, what reason do you possibly have at this point in time? Everything else in your life is stable.
You know, you’ve done all this stuff. Why not? And I stopped. I ran out of reasons. Why not? And that was what it was for me. There were no more. Why not? It was. Why now?
Porschia: Hmm. I love that. I love that. There were no more. Why not? It was. Why now? I think that is a great quote. Um, autonomy control, um, you know, having that I think is really important for a lot of people, especially nowadays when, you know, with technology, there are so many different ways that you can collaborate and work with people.
Um, A lot of our clients are finding like the old way of working, whether that be always going into an office five days a week for 40 hours a week or, um, other, you know, things that used to be the standard. A lot [00:10:00] of people are just saying, Hey, that doesn’t work for me anymore, you know? And so entrepreneurship and that whole idea of starting, you know, their own business is really attractive.
And then something else that you’ve shared, Heidi, that I’ve, Hurt with a lot of clients. And I’m sure you have heard it too in your therapy practice was that physical reaction that you had in terms of feeling heavy, right? I had, um, I think it was one of our, one of our first episodes of this podcast. Uh, I think it was one of our entrepreneurship episodes and, um, She, she’s an artist and she said a similar thing, she just said physically she was having reactions to going to work and feeling a certain way.
And so, um, a lot of people feel it physically and I’m, I’m glad that you honored and really acknowledged kind of what you were feeling and, um, process that, right? So many people just move through those, those thoughts, those [00:11:00] emotions or those feelings that they have and they never really like get to the root of it.
And, um, see how they can, you know, make changes. That’s true. Yeah. So, um, having one thing that I see a lot for our, from clients, I should say, is that, you know, having support from friends and family members can be great. Um, however, For most people, their friends, their colleagues, and their family members are biased, right?
And they have their own thoughts, beliefs, and expectations about what that person should do. Um, what kind of expectations did other people have for you when it came to, you know, your career, Heidi? Oh,
Heidi: man. Um, that’s a really interesting question. Well, it was a lot of… You know, you’re really smart. Why wouldn’t you go [00:12:00] into something that you can earn money in?
Because, right, as a, as a social worker, I was not making bank, um, and, you know, and I wasn’t necessarily always enjoying the work, not because of the work itself, but because of, right, all these institutional things or the demands or the extra paperwork or the short staffed or, you know, what have you, um, that, that comes up sometimes, um, you know, so, so, right, so you should be earning more money, you should be showing up in this particular way, you should have a better attitude, you should, Be thankful for this opportunity that we’re offering you or you should be, um, I don’t know, meeting these particular expectations that are based on what I’ve decided are the goals of this job.
And this is not even like, you know, even this is not even just one place. This is kind of across the board and that’s not always the direct messaging, but it’s always kind of the implied messaging. I [00:13:00] think when you work for other people, um, and other institutions that have their own rules and their own bylaws and, you know, these different things, there are all of these, you know, expectations put on by the funders or by the head people in charge.
Um, and that it’s, it’s, it goes against the grain to have your own opinion or it goes against policy to speak out against something that you don’t agree with. And I never. Kind of aligned with that and I, I, I was always kind of the, the one, Oh, she has a big mouth. Oh, she has a You know, I’d always get that face, you know, the, Oh, her,
Porschia: so how did you detach yourself from the expectations that others had for you?
Heidi: I don’t know. Actually, I think, I mean, it took a long time and it took a lot of undoing and a lot of talking to other people [00:14:00] and probably my own work in therapy to really understand what that was and where that came from and, you know, and do I even need those as a, as a label. Do I need those to be the person that I want to be?
And, you know, and how actually far off are those expectations from who I really am? Um, they’re not actually that far off. It’s just that, you know, maybe I’m saying it and you’re hearing this way. You’re, you’re hearing it this way. And it’s, it’s coming off this way. And maybe we need to, maybe I need to be a little bit more meeting people in the middle.
Is that a reasonable compromise? Um, but, but I think ultimately deciding that I could live up to expectations if it didn’t feel like I was departing from who I was. When you depart, when you experience the departure from yourself and your own integrity and your own kind of morality. That’s when, that’s when it breaks down for me.
Yeah.
Porschia: Wow. [00:15:00] You said a lot of great things there, Heidi. Um, so it sounds like, you know, you were, you had moved through, you know, some of those expectations others had had for you and, you know, the autonomy and the control of kind of having your own business, um, you decided that, you know, now is the time, um, for a lot of people.
We see this with clients and then also prospects who never become clients, you know, many people, they sit on the sidelines for, you know, weeks, months, or even years, um, after they’ve decided to start a business, right? Um, but they sit on those sidelines instead of getting help, uh, with their business. What motivated you to reach out to us for some business support?
Heidi: Well, I guess. I was tired of feeling tired because, you know, the [00:16:00] first thing, um, I also, you know, we have a mutual, uh, contact, um, and I was very intrigued by what she shared about how you are in terms of, um, just, you know, kind of letting folks share. What it is that they need from this kind of thing, because I had done coaching before not business coaching per se, but, um, you know, life coaching and personal coaching, you know, even therapy and, and those venues were, were helpful in terms of like, um, giving me insight about who I was, but I hadn’t yet experienced getting insight about what is actually possible possible in business.
And I think I was looking for though I couldn’t have named this at the time. I was looking for somebody to say, yes, you can. You know, the why nots were still really, you know, in my head or the, you know, the why nots, and I think I needed permission. And I think [00:17:00] I needed. It to be laid out for me the way that you were able to say, okay, what are, what is like really your goal here?
What is, um, you know, uh, a deliverable that you have for yourself? Or what is something that really just appeals to you about either owning a business or operating under, you know, these kinds of conditions? Um, and I needed to, to hear myself say it and I needed someone else to witness it.
Porschia: Hmm. Wow. Um, a lot, a lot of great insights there, Heidi.
And, um, I think at the, the root of it, when you talked about hearing that and having someone to witness that, I think that can be so important. Right. And even to the aspect of what you mentioned before about, you know, that element of, hey, someone’s saying yes, you can do this. Right. Um, it’s so important. Um, I think we just kind of live in this information overload, you know, age, right?
We can go [00:18:00] on Google, we can find answers. We can, uh, you know, look through all the blog posts, look through all the YouTube videos we can find for free online, um, and try to like piece things together, you know, in some kind of way. Um, but really, I think just kind of that targeted. And really focused and customized work when it comes to, you know, business coaching and other types of business support, um, can really kind of get you on the right path faster, um, than, you know, trying to figure everything out on your own.
Um, one, one. Story. I’ll, I’ll share with you and the rest of the audience is when I started my business, I was still working for a consulting firm. And when I launched, I said to myself, okay, I think I’m smart. You know, I can find all this information online and, you know, figure this business thing out.
Right. [00:19:00] But I think I had the wherewithal to know that I said, you know what, if I’m not where I want to be in six months, I’m hiring a business coach. So the six months came and went, Heidi, and while I had the website up and I, you know, had a general idea of, you know, what I wanted to talk about and do, I wasn’t where I wanted to be.
So I hired that business coach. So during our work together, and you started alluding to this as well, we talked a bit about you kind of gaining clarity on your services and presenting those services to prospective clients. How was that experience for you, um, to kind of go through that? Yeah, it
Heidi: was really helpful.
And I think, and I will just also say one of the reasons that I sought you out specifically is because I knew you had also started your own business. And I’m guessing it wasn’t because that was like the cool thing to do. I’m sure you had your own reasons for it. And something like the business that [00:20:00] you’re in is like one of those services that’s like, people think, Oh, it’s auxiliary.
I don’t really need that. But come to realize people actually really do. And In that space and fleshing out together, you know what I wanted to do a lot of my focus, and actually since those sessions has been, you know, I hear from clients that would come to me for, you know, mental health support so much of their mental health anguish was about their dissatisfaction at work.
And I just found myself going, you know, I don’t ever want to be this person anymore. And, and it doesn’t have to be that way. And, and I think that our work kind of highlighted that for me, that I want to be the person to say to someone, it does not have to be this way. You do not have to feel like this.
There are other ways to live your life. If you’re not happy at work, get happy at work. If you don’t like this job, find another job. If there’s a reason why you, you hard and fast have to stay at this job, let’s understand that. Um, You know, is it that you have a financial [00:21:00] obligation? Is it that they give you great benefits?
Is it whatever the why is find your why let’s find your why. And so a lot of my, my fleshing out has been, how do I help other people find the why that, that you helped me find?
Porschia: Yeah. Yeah. I think you, you put that so well, so well. And, um, I see that too, Heidi, you know, not obviously from the therapy standpoint, but a lot of people’s dissatisfaction comes from career and business.
And I actually get a lot of referrals from family members, friends, partners, spouses. And they said, you know what? My spouse. They talk about this all day long. They probably don’t have a therapist to talk to about it and the people in their lives start to hear about, you know, the situation or negativity or the environment.
And, um, you know, they might make a referral at that point as well. Um. So yeah, yeah, I definitely want to [00:22:00] echo that, that sentiment. So Heidi, tell us how is your life different now after starting your own business?
Heidi: Oh, it’s remarkably different. Um, I mean, it’s very peaceful. It’s very autonomous. I do what I want.
I hate to say it. I mean, I don’t hate to say it. I’m very happy to say it. Um, like I, I think I was sharing with you earlier, I just got off the phone with a friend and a colleague who’s thinking about starting, um, a private practice and I said, do it. It is life changing. There’s just a freedom. There’s a sense that, you know what, when I want and need to work, I will, if I don’t want to work or I’m not able to help this person, I will not, and, and that there’s nothing wrong with that and that we are humans too, and, you know, therapists are humans too.
And I think a lot of people. Forget that. And clients will ask me a lot, just tell me what the magic bean is. How do you do [00:23:00] this? I don’t have a magic bean. I am just as much a human as you, but it’s been through trial and error that I know what works for me. I know when my body feels good and I know when my mind feels good and I know what I need to do to make those things true for myself and having my own business gives me autonomy to do that.
I know that. Exercise and movement feels great to me. So I build that into my life and I know that eating good food that feels good in my body feels great to me. So I make sure I build that into my life and I budget that into my life and spending time with my spouse and my family and my friends all of that feels great and is imperative to me to have like that good, you know, restorative energy from other people so that I can pour that in, you know, my clients and my friends.
And, you know, and, and just having that freedom to do it as I can and want to, and the financial freedom is, it’s everything. Yeah. Yeah.
Porschia: That’s amazing. Heidi. And, [00:24:00] um, just, just an observation coaches observation. You just lit up when you answered that question, um, you know, and I, I love hearing how your life is different and how it’s changed and, um, to your point about, you know, clients looking for the magic bean.
I also hear a lot of that, like, what’s, what’s the silver bullet? Like, what’s, what’s the one thing that I can do to kind of, you know, get to where I want to be. And, um, it’s a bit more involved in that as we know. Um, and, uh, you know, it’s about. Usually more of a process and, and, and following that through.
Um, but when people do that, they can achieve, you know, the kind of results that you have, you know, when you talk about the peacefulness, the being autonomous, you know, the financial changes, like it’s just, um, it makes me so happy to hear that for you and, and all of our other clients. So tell us more [00:25:00] about your private practice, Heidi.
Heidi: Sure, I guess I’ll just have a very open ended. Um, so, I mean, I guess I would just say that I Um, I see a lot of folks that struggle with anxiety, depression, um, I mean, other, other things stemming from trauma as well as at this point, most people probably have experienced and you know, and anxiety is such a commonplace thing now for many people, it’s situational or it’s temporary, um, for many others in addition to, it’s also clinical and it’s.
You know, it’s this idea that we walk around with this feeling in our body that at any time something terrible is going to happen. It’s this kind of underlying, you know, feeling of dread. And so I would say, you know, that and then relationship building and cultivation, a lot of my practices centered around.[00:26:00]
You know, the therapeutic relationship. If you can build a healthy therapeutic relationship with direct and honest communication and clear boundaries and, you know, healthy ways of, of dealing with that and having hard conversations that, that mimics the relationships you’re going to be able to have in the world.
And when that happens, how great can your life be? If the relationships that you’re in personally feel. This safe and good and how great, you know, can your life be if the relationships that you have at work or that you have to your work can feel that safe and good if you can say, you know what, I appreciate that you asked me to do that project.
I’m not able to do that. Um, I have to leave at 5 o’clock today to pick up my kid or to go have dinner with my husband or just because I can’t. That you don’t even have to give a reason, um, and so being able to kind of mimic that and so that folks can feel that there is, um, that connection and, and then with that is kind of the
Porschia: work from there.
Yeah. I love it. Um, you mentioned, [00:27:00] you know, the, you know, possible anxiety or depression, um, those are some things someone might experience, but what, what is something else that might Come to mind or, or someone experience where they know, Hey, you know what? I need to talk to a therapist. Like what’s a, what’s a trigger.
What’s something that, um, someone would, you know, see your experience and know that they need to talk to someone like you.
Heidi: That’s a great question. I think I would say when you notice that things in your life, multiple things don’t feel good. You maybe don’t know beyond what that means, but something doesn’t feel good, or that you’re finding yourself having arguments or disagreements with a lot of people in your life, or that you’re feeling out of balance, or, or just physically not feeling well, you know, you might, again, not be able to.
Pinpoint it. Um, but you know, oftentimes people come to me and say, I just feel, you know, like [00:28:00] I’m doing things because I know that that’s what I can do. But I think there’s another thing I can do. And I don’t know what that is. Um, and, and just, you know, generally feeling sick of our own crap. You know, like, see, I see myself doing this thing.
I know that logically I shouldn’t do this thing, but I just can’t help it.
Porschia: Yeah, yeah, I think that’s so helpful for people to know because, um, so my undergraduate degree is in psychology, and I’m getting a master’s in industrial and organizational psychology right now, and one of the things that we learned, you know, in coach training, like 10 years ago now, it’s so it’s so crazy to think that we’re coming up on our 10th year anniversary, but, um, was when people When a coach should make that referral to a therapist, right?
And so I, um, I’m really enjoying hearing you talk about that, you know, from a therapist perspective of, you [00:29:00] know, Hey, when someone should just, you know, explore that and, and, and work with a professional like you. Um, so Heidi, we will be providing a link to your social channels and our show notes, um, so that people can find you online, but what is the best way for someone to get in touch with you?
Heidi: Um, I would say, I guess it depends on, uh, the, um, the, the, the thing they’re looking to get in touch with me for, um, my psychology today. Page is my professional page. Um, and, um, that that’s kind of like how clients reach me. If it’s a, for a professional contact, I have, you know, links that I can provide there.
I have a LinkedIn page, um, that that’s available to folks. Um, and then just, you know, I respond best to email. Um, Text messages whenever possible. Um, I like direct communication. I’m, I’m not great at social media. It’s sort of my, my. My [00:30:00] downfall, um, I have it, I use it, but not. extensively. Um, and I, I like connecting directly with people.
So, you know, email through my Psychology Today profile is the best way to, for folks to get in touch with me if it’s, you know, that way professionally. LinkedIn and, you know, my email, um, address is
Porschia: Great. Great. Well, we’re going to definitely include all of that in the show notes. Um, so I’m interested to know a couple of other things, Heidi, from your perspective.
Um, so what is your definition of career or business success?
Heidi: I guess career or business success. I guess it’s about the feeling that it gives you and, and what is your goal? So I guess for me, my, my definition of success for me personally is, do I feel good doing this work? [00:31:00] Do I feel financially sound and doing this work financially?
You know, sustained by this. And do I feel emotionally sustained by this? Is it, is it work that I feel that I can put my integrity, my morality and, and, you know, myself behind? Does it feel like the work that I do as well as in the real world? You know, a lot of people have, you know, kind of their business persona and their Out in the world persona to me, it doesn’t differentiate.
And I tell my clients all the time, I am exactly this way in my life as I am, you know, in the therapy room because I am a human. And I think for so many therapists and business people, we feel like we have to put on a mask or a facade, and it just doesn’t compute to people. And it just isn’t relatable.
And so, um, You know, so that and then business or career success, I guess, you know, do you feel fulfilled? Does it feel like, you know, this is, this is what I, I feel moved by, this is what I feel compelled to do. This is how I feel like I’m making a difference if that’s [00:32:00] important to you, but it, but it comes down to what are your own goals?
Porschia: So this is my final question that I like to ask all of our guests. How do you think executives or professionals can get a positive edge in their career? What do you mean by
Heidi: positive
Porschia: edge? Well, that’s, that’s open to interpretation, but most of our clients, they’re looking for, um, a way to kind of progress right from where they are.
So that positive edge. could be, you know, something to help them, you know, progress to achieve a goal.
Heidi: Um, I would say two things. One is thinking outside the box and two, it’s finding the channels that can help you. So whether that’s a connection that you can make professionally, whether that’s a friend, whether that’s taking a class, whether [00:33:00] that’s, um, seeing a business coach or a therapist or, uh, you know, like, like getting right with yourself in your own mind.
About, you know, what is the advancement for me? So, so I guess this is a similar answer to my last answer, which is what is the advancement going to be for me? What is going to feel good to me to, you know, look back on my life and 10 years ago, Oh yeah, that was a good choice or it was a bad choice, but I learned a lot.
Porschia: Well, Heidi, you have shared a lot of insights with us today, and I’m sure that our listeners can use it to be more confident in their careers. We appreciate you being with us.
Heidi: Well, thank you. I appreciate you and I appreciate your business coaching and you’re kind of doing this work because I, I know I wouldn’t be where I am without your insight.
And I am certain that all, you know, all of your clients that seek you out walk away with something really valuable. So thank you for this. This was great.
Porschia: Well, thank you so much, Heidi.[00:34:00]
